Sex gets you hired - don't be afraid to flirt for work

April 30, 2018

 

In the 21st century, does sex really sell?

 

Tutti Recruitti - Winner of the "Best Newcomer" in the recent Northern Hemisphere Recuitment Blog Awards - caught up with the world's first career Sensei, Malacky Powers, to hear how's he's been advising candidates in his Career Dojo.

 

Here's what he had to say:

 

"After my initial 'if you're not lying, you're not trying' sessions, the next phase of my 14 day 'Get Hired or Die' course focuses on how you should use your carnal charms to greatly improve your chance of getting hired"

 

Mr Powers explained that "The real trick is to find out what perversions the hiring manager has, then play to them. We provide our students with hacking software that is triggered when the future employer opens their CVs - immediately providing access to the hiring managers porn browsing history".

 

He said "It's then simply a case of our students turning up for the interview dressed in whatever way is going to get the hiring manager excited.

 

"If Dave the CFO is into World War II porn, go dressed as Gruber from Allo Allo - and keep making references to 'showing him your little tank'

 

"If Charmaine the Sales Manager likes a bit of S&M, strap on a gimp suit and get set to be submissive and easily bent to her will

 

"Of course, some students go beyond flirting. One recently dressed as Snow White, and allowed the vertically challenged Managing Partner of Namaco LLP to have his wicked way with her. I don't advise that, but I do admire her dedication"

 

Malacky's extreme 'Get Hired or Die' course is currently fully booked.

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