Microdosing my staff tripled my profits

June 8, 2018

 

 

We all like our morning caffeine injection to have a bit of a kick, but at one fintech company in Manchester, their in-house brew maker, CEO Hazit Larj, is whipping up something a bit special for his team.

 

Tutti Recruitti, winners of “Best Blog 2018” at the Hire Times Cup, Amsterdam, gets in the region of 1,264 emails and letters a week from whistle-blowers and snitches which get ignored.

 

But when a call comes in from a scared receptionist, describing her company sales team doing a war dance, smeared in marmalade, in prep for hitting the phones, there’s only one thing to do…

 

Get on it! Arriving at the company HQ at around 8:40am, the Tutti Recruitti team were greeted with the sweet beats of 90’s house music, and what they assumed was a sound-off between the whistle and the horn posses.

 

“It’s how we start every day”, Hazit said.

 

“My motto’s: If your jaw’s not swingin, the sales bell’s not dingin”

 

“I used to go clubbing round here back in the day, and when I went to work in a morning still buzzing from the night before, I used to smash my sales targets”

 

“I figured, if it worked for me, maybe it’ll work for the guys here, so I started putting a teeny, tiny bit of LSD in the morning coffees”

 

“Not much. But the results speak for themselves”

 

As Hazit finished the sentence, some naked, grinning creature, that turned out to be company Sales Director, Phil, dragged the team off to the accounts office, rumoured to be used as a chillout room, whilst shrieking something about a birthday party.

 

Not much of a report given that the team were on-site for two days. But it’s crystal clear, if you want a happy and hyper-productive workforce, make sure that your coffee is the shit.

 

Brought to you by Tutti Recruitti, twisting your melon since 2018

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