Employee urinates on CEO at summer BBQ

The UK is crying out to be rained on, but not pissed on. Thomas Chappy circumvented the Northumbrian hose ban and used his own to detrimental effect

Despite having a known history for letting his little man go pee pee on people among ex colleagues, he was unashamedly shoehorned into the business by Agency Purple Splat

Shocked bystanders reported he climbed to the summit of a 15ft paper maché anti trump statue and bellowed ‘who wants to get pissed’ followed by an almost inaudible ‘on’, and let nature take its course

Onlookers screamed as he hit the CEO smack bang in the face. Not the kind of liquid refreshment he had been hoping for

An ex colleague said;

“Personally I would never recommend Thomas. For some unknown reason, without fail, he urinates on the most senior member of the company at every office party he attends

Yes on paper he is well qualified, but in reality he is an uncontrollable dick, and has an uncontrollable dick"

We asked Purple Splat for comment but they could not remember who he was, and frankly didn’t ‘give a shit’ because he passed his rebate period

Don’t employ a Thomas Chappy

Hire a personally recommended candidate instead (and make £1,500 for referring folk too!) AnyGood.com

#investigativejournalism #agency