I only give smokers 15 days holiday pay per year

We all heard the story of the Tokyo based marketing firm who gave non-smokers an additional 6 days holiday each year. The general consensus at the time was that this was an innovative idea from a progressive company.

This was not the opinion of Jimmy Tango, Head of HR at the UK's largest foam manufacturer. Jimmy stepped outside to clear the air with our field reporter.

"You call it progressive. I call it stupid. Handing out extra holiday willy-nilly means a significant reduction in productivity, in what world is that a good idea?

I understand the idea, smokers are parasites and they absolutely stink but why reward the non-smokers when you can punish the smokers.

As of January this year I had our legal team amend our contracts to offer 15 days holiday for any smokers. Following this decision, our productivity from the manufacturing line has increased by 130%.

My Talent Acquisition Lead pointed out that we've had a 700% drop in job applications from smokers. Fantastic I say, have you ever had to sit next to somebody who's just come back from the smoking shed? Putrid!"